Proverbs 16:32, Better to be patient than powerful;
better to have self-control than to conquer a city
Anytime anyone tries to control another person it is a reflection of an emotional deficit. Even God does not try to control us; this is why He gave us freewill. A need to control another person reflects an internal emotional deficit. The Scripture above describes the nature of true power-the ability to control self. True power is not in retaliation, but in restraint. A need to control anyone demonstrates a lack of self-control.
There is some form of insecurity. There is usually a fear of an unfavorable outcome diminishing that person at the core of who they are. Our identity is not contingent on the outcome of someone else doing something. Our identity is tied to the reality that we have accepted Christ. Regardless of what are relatives, spouses, employees, or anyone we know does, it cannot diminish what Christ has already done. Anyone who knows Christ is complete in Him (Col.2:10).
My prayer today Lord God give me the grace to recognize you have completed me. I no longer identify with the result of my experience, but with your redeeming work on the cross Amen.